Spambot revenge! The entrapment of the E-Mail

So a (long) time ago, I did a post discussing the rather amusing spambots that kept commenting on my blog. I had thought them vanquished by sheer hours of clicking “delete” over and over and over and over and over and over and over. So today I decided to go through my email. Personally, I enjoy cleaning my email, which is apparently strange. So anyway, I was cleaning the emails, and was browsing titles. Not many really stood out, most were generic “buy this” or “shocking newz”. But…. some were rather odd.

“legofan sip apple cider and get a flat-stomach next week” Um….. ok..? I don’t really know what to say to this. NEXT!

“(HELLO?) Can you send an email?” Yes, I can send email. Next question, please

“legofan drinking apple cider with make your stomach-flat” This guy again? Also, WILL, not with.

“3 things Jesus said about how to cure disease” No comment.

“Discover the fountain of youth” Ok. NEW GOAL EVERYONE!

“PUBLIC SAFETY ANNOUNCEMENT- Someone in your life could be dangerous!” Yeah. ME. I AM THE DOOM SLAYER, THE END OF DEMONS.

“Michael, Unleash Your Buying Potential Today!” Two Things: I Hate When People Capitalize Every Word In A Sentence, And 2: Why So Dramatic?

“Lifehack — How to walk into a Subway and get free subs.” But what if I want pizza? Or chips?

“Carry a pen that doubles as a tactical defense weapon” (so I was chatting with my friend Spek, and his response was) “Pens are already Tactical Defense weapons, have you seen pen injuries? I once made a pen shoot out its tip in the middle of class”

“I also may support you to have fun” Thank you for potentially supporting me on my endeavors of having fun.

“I’m a woman and I’m losing my hair. What can I do about it?” Hmm… Good thing you contacted me, the leading expert on hair loss and kicking demonic ass. I prescribe 3-4 hours of DooM with random intervals of Chuck Norris motivational quotes.

“Amanda wants to chat” Why is Mom emailing me about this? I have a phone. (not from my mom btw, was joke about how they are same name)

Well, that was interesting. Off to go play games.